Ah hem...

A public service announcement that I would like to make to all generic customers of La Fromagerie:

1) To all of you francophiles, italophiles, or other various types of eurotrash: I do not care about your last trip to Barcelona, the Northern Italian Alps, or the quaint French countryside. I do not care what you ate there, who you saw there, or who you slept with there.Buy your cheese and leave. Au revoir.

2) Additionally, I have no fucking clue what type of white, creamy, buttery table cheese you ate on your Mediterranean cruise last Spring. Most importantly, I don't care. All cheese is white, creamy AND buttery so just buy a wedge of brie, go home and rent Titanic and cry yourself to a nostalgic sleep like the rest of us.

3) Furthermore, we have a lot of kinds of Gouda. There is Willow River plain Gouda, Gouda with mustard seeds, Gouda with caraway seeds, smoked Gouda, double cream Gouda, Arina goat Gouda, sheep Gouda, Gouda aged 12-18 months, Gouda aged at least two years, Aged goat milk Gouda, Boorenkas, Ewephoria, Gooda, Roomano, Prima Donna (aged 6 months), Prima Donna (aged 12 months), Old Amsterdam, Parrano, and I am sure some others that I am not even thinking of. If you want Applewood Smoked Gouda made by your friend's next door neighbor in Connecticut, you're going to have to burn down the apple orchard, the livestock, AND their milk on your own time.

4) There will be a 35% gratuity fee added onto your bill for any of the previous (or similar) issues that I have to deal with. You may leave your tips at the counter.

Thank You.