There are certain parts of my leg that I still cannot feel. I haven't told anyone yet because these places are small and they do not seem to limit my ability or my motion. Plus I think I am holding out hope that someday soon my senses will wake up. For now, it's easy to ignore these small places and pretend like everything is normal again. But the truth is that about once a week I lay in bed, take out a pen or paper clip and start stabbing myself in hopes of eliciting some sort of sensory recognition. My hand recognizes that it has hit something and cannot move anymore, but that is the only reason I know I am being poked or stabbed.

During my post-op recovery, when doctors were always taking bandages off my leg, they would apologize for having to cause me pain by ripping off the tape. I just smiled and told them it was okay, but they had to do it fast. I didn't tell them I wouldn't have been able to feel it no matter how quickly or slowly they pulled.

When I went out on my date last night, he put his hand on one of those places that I cannot feel. Maybe that's why my heart didn't beat quickly at his touch.